Bucket list

1) Attend hockey game at bell center*

2) attend hockey game at united center*

3) meet tommy wiseau*

4) run for a political position

5) fly upside down

6) look for sponge diving operations in the Gulf of Mexico*

7) make a mixtape

8) visit Greece*

9) stay in a town where everyone knows everyone*

10) buy a mansion on a hill and hit golf balls off my deck down the hill at dawn

11) Visit Manhattan*

12) pass someone on the autobahn*

13) go fishing for Nile perch*

14) visit the pyramids in Egypt*

15) chug a 2L of dr pepper

16) wear a cowboy hat to a bar in Texas*

17) meet Kanye west and pretend I don't know who he is*

18) get in the top 100 of world rankings in an nhl game

19) have a perfect game in beer pong

20) sing don't worry be happy with a reggae band in the carribean*

21) watch all of BMS in one day

22) introduce Jan W. Pachul and Colton David to each other

23) watch the room, things, and birdemic in one day

24) spend 8 hours watching videos on r/cringe

25) meet veteran diver dave Thompson*

26) spend a week in a house with 15 cats

27) learn how to spell career properly

28) attend a UEFA champions league game*

29) drive around Compton while listening to maad city with the windows down*

30) play the 17th hole at TPC sawgrass*

31) run with the bulls in Pamplona*

32) stand beside O Cristo Redentor*

33) fall asleep on the glass floor at the CN tower*

34) try to sneak across the US-Mexico border*

35) spend a week in the woods*

36) quit a job really dramatically

37) fly through the Bermuda triangle*

38) meet someone from tinder and pretend to be a bible pusher trying to save them

39) make a movie based off of the short story "Diver Dave: He's not normal"

40) run a marathon

41) introduce myself to someone by quoting sympathy for the devil

42) drink bacardi on a speedboat with dany heatley

43) for one day yell IAN PRESTON before I say anything 2chainz style

44) attend a friends funeral and tell people a sci fi story about 2 young boys who had nothing better to do one summer, than to kill a neighbourhood boy named Harold

45) remake things

46) learn a martial art

47) steer a cruise ship*

48) perform brain surgery

49) drift a car through a busy intersection

50) Break par in a round of golf

6 word memoir

6 Word Memoir #1

Photo Credit to Tom Groom

Writers note: 1) The words and photo fit together because the words tell of a long road ahead of me with lots of possible outcomes, and the photo shows the crossing of a bridge, where one side could be very different from the other

2) Using photoshop, I removed some of the colour, making the photo more grey in order to have the subject and text stand out more

3) I used a comma after the Oh to make the reader pause a little after reading the first word

4) I chose a light version of the font Helvetica to make it blend in nicely, as the photo is rather even I didn't want to make anything stand out too much

6 Word Memoir #2

Photo Credit to Ian Preston

Writers note: 1) This memoir was on the topic of my past. The photo fits with the memoir because my past at times seems so long ago that it's just a dream. One thing that doesn't seem real is looking in an old yearbook and seeing how different some people looked, and if I don't remember them like that then it almost doesn't seem real

2) The original photo was a little overexposed, so I turned the brightness of the photo down a little bit

3) I used a question mark at the end to show that it's more of a question than a statement. I'm not suggesting it seems like a dream, I'm actually asking

4) I chose a black font to contrast the white of the yearbook.

6 Word Memoir #3

 Photo Credit to Ian Preston

Writers note: 1) This memoir was related to a topic that was suggested I write about: Love. In this memoir I'm paraphrasing a famous quote about love that I heard from a respected screenwriter. I think the memoir went well with the photo because of the statue, who's eyes are closed, implying he could be blind.

2) In photoshop I pumped up the brightness of the statue, in order to put emphasis on it, as it is the subject

3) I used the comma to pause the thought after saying "love" to put emphasis on that word

4) I used a dark grey font to make a similar colour with the subject of the photo, the statue

6 Word Memoir #4

Photo credit to Ophelia Boyer

Writers Note 1) This memoir was on the subject of family. The photo is of me and my hockey team. The memoir implies that people who aren't related to you can still be family, as most of this team is to me

2) I cropped the original photo down quite a bit, to make sure the group is the subject

3) I didn't use any punctation in the memoir because I wanted it to be read as one continuos statement

4) I used a thicker font because I needed it to be noticeable next to the dark mass of people

6 Word Memoir

Photo Credit to Ian Preston

Writers Note 1) The photo works with the memoir because the photo shows a broken bench, although parts of it are still together, implying you can pick up the pieces of something broken and put it back together to make something new, the memoir can apply to anything that didn't work out, and a broken object such as a bench is an example of that

2) I turned down the whites of the photo so the white of the snow doesn't overwhelm the rest of the photo. This change also makes the bench stand out

3) I didn't use punctuation because I wanted no pause in the reading of the memoir

4) I used a black font so it stands out against the white snow

Social Fiction: (Diver Dave: He's not normal)

Diver Dave: He's Not Normal (Social Fiction Short Story)

(You may enjoy this more if you watch this beforehand: 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OOGN0jFDd6E)

(Twitter Account: https://twitter.com/WeightBelt)  

Diver Dave: He’s Not Normal

“My name is Dave Thompson, and I would love to offer my services. I’ve been a commercial rated hardhat diver, for over 20 years; I king-crabbed out of Kodiak for two years. I have my own commercial sponge diving operation in the Gulf of Mexico. My first boat was in Homer called the Bessie M. Bessie M is the name of my grandmother” –Diver Dave Thompson 2011

We are due south-southeast. I have left port in Louisiana an hour ago. I may have left a lifetime ago. This mission has been ongoing for over 20 years. I noticed the sun is under the cover of clouds, no doubt the will of Cthulhu. Cthulhu’s interference is no surprise, as my 20 year mission has been to locate R’yleh, the home of the sea  god. There are places Bessie M told me to avoid, Bessie M is the name of my grandmother.

My first memories were in Homer with Bessie M. I was born on May 5, 1955 in Homer, Colorado and raised by my grandmother. She taught me everything, including diving, a favourite pastime of Bessie’s. Her smile would illuminate the room if I ever brought back a souvenir from our expeditions, especially if it were of the sponge variety, to add to her lifelong collection. After a hard day of diving she would read to me the stories of Howard P Lovecraft as I sat on her lap. Not too long after is when the nightmares started. After the love, and nurturing, Bessie M gave me, I only took one thing from my childhood, to fear Cthulhu. Soon after we moved to the East Coast, my fears were confirmed one day. It was Bessie M’s 55^th birthday and I had a surprise for her. ”Grandmother” I said in my soft childlike voice, “I have something to show you”. I led her to the marina, where I revealed my new pride and joy. It was a new fishing boat with a freshly painted name on the sider: “Bessie M”, my first boat. “ Bessie can we take it out on the water?’ I asked. “Look” she said sternly, “no promises, how about we go out tomorrow morning around 8:00.” “Okay then, grandmother. I’ll let you go and you can decide about the boat and decide, oh no, this boat no no”.

The next morning we set out to sea. The skies were due for a radiant blue which never came. It was Bessie’s 55^th birthday and I begged for clear skies but the weather didn’t keep her spirits down. I proceeded to present my grandmother with a collection of rare miniature sponges concealed within an engraved glass jar that read her name “Bessie M”. I saw the tears that coated her eyes but it was the skies that wept that day. A storm was brewing, and hell rained upon the Bessie M that day. Suddenly I was in disbelief as the sky darkened to a menacing gray. The boat shook under the chaotic stress of these mysterious waves. “Get down!” Bessie shouted as she lunged her arms toward me, sending me flying toward a shelf. Before I knew it I was face down on the deck of the boat with a dizzying, throbbing pain in my head. With every examination of the wound I took, the more blood would collect on my hand. Still pinned to the floor, I must have been in a state of shock. Bessie was frantically trying to steer us clear of the unrelenting storm when suddenly, in a state of shock of her own she walked out of the cabin staring North without moving a muscle, completely static.” My God” she uttered in a tone of shock and disbelief. As I slowly brought myself to my knees, I laid my eyes upon this horrible sight. It was an image plucked straight out of the eldritch tales themselves. Hurricane like winds morphed from the mass of moving air into the great hand of Cthulhu. I then watched in horror as the sea god closed his fist around Bessie’s birthday sponge jar and hurled my gift toward my grandmother’s head as she stumbled toward the edge of the vessel. I saw my grandmother gaze into the storm, as Cthulhu took control of her body and launched her over the edge much like he did with my mind, sending me over the edge of consciousness into a state of darkness.

That was the last straw that taught me my eventual purpose. It led me to where I am right now. I am in the Gulf of Mexico. Using information I took from the king crabs I captured in Kodiak, Alaska. I was able to locate the homeland of my arch nemesis, Cthulhu. Cthulhu resides in R’yleh, a submerged city which lies within the mysterious ocean depths. Only I know its location and only I will put an end to Cthulhu’s reign upon these great seas which I have sailed on for over 20 years! 55 knots and rising, impact to R’yleh is imminent… For the second time in my life I am feeling true fear, and through that fear came regret. I should’ve honored Bessie rather than this petty trek for revenge. One afternoon service of grieving and remembrance is worth more than 20 years of anger and bitterness. Bessie wouldn’t have wanted this for me. Not being an isolated, antisocial crab interrogator but a true SPONGE diver! I have come to this revelation all but too late for there is no turning back now. I must do it. For BessieM!

Suddenly I awoke to find myself in a bed not my own with enough gauze wrapped around my head that I found it to difficult to lift. I realize that I must have filled my plan of vengeance and destroyed R’yleh. Filled with excitement and fatigue I decide it’s time for some rest. To my right I find a TV remote which I promptly grasped. I figured that some background noise would lull me to sleep. The top story on the news that evening was on an explosion which occurred on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. 13 people had died on the Deepwater Horizon, and it was very close to where I collided with the city of R’yleh. The more I heard of the story the tighter my grip on the remote got as I realized that I could have done more to prevent these deaths. In a fit of rage and frustration I threw the remote as hard as I could against the wall, shattering it instantly. This angered the nurses a great deal and I could tell from the looks they gave me that they wouldn’t be changing any of my TV channels anytime soon, so it looks like I’m stuck with the Discovery Channel until I get a new remote. I would spend the rest of my hospital bound days watching a show that quickly became a favorite of mine, Bering Sea Gold. I became quite fond of these northern divers, especially their skipper, Capt. Vernon Atkinson. As I watched and watched, I realized it was Capt. Vernon and company that was getting me through my recovery. But one day, my recovery was stagnated by a horrifying discovery I made when recollecting the events that got me here on that night of blind vengeance. 13 people had died in the Gulf of Mexico just after I destroyed R’yleh. I hadn’t killed Cthulhu, I merely angered him. “My God” I said to myself and then my thoughts turned to my new friends, Capt. Vernon and everyone else in the Bering Sea. The sea was no longer safe, no waters were safe. I needed to do something, something to prevent anyone from ever diving whilst that great sea abomination roams our waters. And I needed to start with my friends at the Bering Sea. I contemplated for days on what action I may take as the guilt from those 13 men from the Deepwater Horizon bared heavier on my shoulders. How could I prevent them from diving? Then it dawned on me… They cannot dive if THEY DON’T HAVE A WEIGHT BELT! All I need to do now is get on the show, and then since I will be so enraged at the thought of ending diving careers, I will have to channel my inner fury to the thought of them not having a weight belt. This will prevent any suspicion I may draw, and also give me a way to channel my anger. I will also be able to test out my new theory of taunting Cthulhu. No doubt he remembers me and my voice after what I have done to him. By saying “My God” I believe this will shake Cthulhu to his very core. This is my very own call of Cthulhu.

I have been medically cleared and I am now off to save the lives of my friends of the Bering Sea, about to perform a deed that the they will never know are ever be able to appreciate. This is my duty, to save my friends, to end the terror of Cthulhu and to avenge Bessie M. Only through vengeance will Bessie be honored.

“Veteran diver Dave Thompson arrives to meet Captain and crew”

-Bering Sea Gold Narrator

2011