Wednesday, 4 June 2014

Bucket list

1) Attend hockey game at bell center*
2) attend hockey game at united center*
3) meet tommy wiseau*
4) run for a political position
5) fly upside down
6) look for sponge diving operations in the Gulf of Mexico*
7) make a mixtape
8) visit Greece*
9) stay in a town where everyone knows everyone*
10) buy a mansion on a hill and hit golf balls off my deck down the hill at dawn
11) Visit Manhattan*
12) pass someone on the autobahn*
13) go fishing for Nile perch*
14) visit the pyramids in Egypt*
15) chug a 2L of dr pepper
16) wear a cowboy hat to a bar in Texas*
17) meet Kanye west and pretend I don't know who he is*
18) get in the top 100 of world rankings in an nhl game
19) have a perfect game in beer pong
20) sing don't worry be happy with a reggae band in the carribean*
21) watch all of BMS in one day
22) introduce Jan W. Pachul and Colton David to each other
23) watch the room, things, and birdemic in one day
24) spend 8 hours watching videos on r/cringe
25) meet veteran diver dave Thompson*
26) spend a week in a house with 15 cats
27) learn how to spell career properly
28) attend a UEFA champions league game*
29) drive around Compton while listening to maad city with the windows down*
30) play the 17th hole at TPC sawgrass*
31) run with the bulls in Pamplona*
32) stand beside O Cristo Redentor*
33) fall asleep on the glass floor at the CN tower*
34) try to sneak across the US-Mexico border*
35) spend a week in the woods*
36) quit a job really dramatically
37) fly through the Bermuda triangle*
38) meet someone from tinder and pretend to be a bible pusher trying to save them
39) make a movie based off of the short story "Diver Dave: He's not normal"
40) run a marathon
41) introduce myself to someone by quoting sympathy for the devil
42) drink bacardi on a speedboat with dany heatley
43) for one day yell IAN PRESTON before I say anything 2chainz style
44) attend a friends funeral and tell people a sci fi story about 2 young boys who had nothing better to do one summer, than to kill a neighbourhood boy named Harold
45) remake things
46) learn a martial art
47) steer a cruise ship*
48) perform brain surgery
49) drift a car through a busy intersection
50) Break par in a round of golf

Tuesday, 3 June 2014

6 word memoir

6 Word Memoir #1
Photo Credit to Tom Groom
Writers note: 1) The words and photo fit together because the words tell of a long road ahead of me with lots of possible outcomes, and the photo shows the crossing of a bridge, where one side could be very different from the other
2) Using photoshop, I removed some of the colour, making the photo more grey in order to have the subject and text stand out more
3) I used a comma after the Oh to make the reader pause a little after reading the first word
4) I chose a light version of the font Helvetica to make it blend in nicely, as the photo is rather even I didn't want to make anything stand out too much
6 Word Memoir #2
Photo Credit to Ian Preston
Writers note: 1) This memoir was on the topic of my past. The photo fits with the memoir because my past at times seems so long ago that it's just a dream. One thing that doesn't seem real is looking in an old yearbook and seeing how different some people looked, and if I don't remember them like that then it almost doesn't seem real
2) The original photo was a little overexposed, so I turned the brightness of the photo down a little bit
3) I used a question mark at the end to show that it's more of a question than a statement. I'm not suggesting it seems like a dream, I'm actually asking
4) I chose a black font to contrast the white of the yearbook.
6 Word Memoir #3
 Photo Credit to Ian Preston
Writers note: 1) This memoir was related to a topic that was suggested I write about: Love. In this memoir I'm paraphrasing a famous quote about love that I heard from a respected screenwriter. I think the memoir went well with the photo because of the statue, who's eyes are closed, implying he could be blind.
2) In photoshop I pumped up the brightness of the statue, in order to put emphasis on it, as it is the subject
3) I used the comma to pause the thought after saying "love" to put emphasis on that word
4) I used a dark grey font to make a similar colour with the subject of the photo, the statue
6 Word Memoir #4
Photo credit to Ophelia Boyer
Writers Note 1) This memoir was on the subject of family. The photo is of me and my hockey team. The memoir implies that people who aren't related to you can still be family, as most of this team is to me
2) I cropped the original photo down quite a bit, to make sure the group is the subject
3) I didn't use any punctation in the memoir because I wanted it to be read as one continuos statement
4) I used a thicker font because I needed it to be noticeable next to the dark mass of people
6 Word Memoir

Photo Credit to Ian Preston
Writers Note 1) The photo works with the memoir because the photo shows a broken bench, although parts of it are still together, implying you can pick up the pieces of something broken and put it back together to make something new, the memoir can apply to anything that didn't work out, and a broken object such as a bench is an example of that
2) I turned down the whites of the photo so the white of the snow doesn't overwhelm the rest of the photo. This change also makes the bench stand out
3) I didn't use punctuation because I wanted no pause in the reading of the memoir
4) I used a black font so it stands out against the white snow

Monday, 2 June 2014

Social Fiction: (Diver Dave: He's not normal)

(You may enjoy this more if you watch this beforehand: 

(Twitter Account:  

Diver Dave: He’s Not Normal
“My name is Dave Thompson, and I would love to offer my services. I’ve been a commercial rated hardhat diver, for over 20 years; I king-crabbed out of Kodiak for two years. I have my own commercial sponge diving operation in the Gulf of Mexico. My first boat was in Homer called the Bessie M. Bessie M is the name of my grandmother” –Diver Dave Thompson 2011

We are due south-southeast. I have left port in Louisiana an hour ago. I may have left a lifetime ago. This mission has been ongoing for over 20 years. I noticed the sun is under the cover of clouds, no doubt the will of Cthulhu. Cthulhu’s interference is no surprise, as my 20 year mission has been to locate R’yleh, the home of the sea  god. There are places Bessie M told me to avoid, Bessie M is the name of my grandmother.
My first memories were in Homer with Bessie M. I was born on May 5, 1955 in Homer, Colorado and raised by my grandmother. She taught me everything, including diving, a favourite pastime of Bessie’s. Her smile would illuminate the room if I ever brought back a souvenir from our expeditions, especially if it were of the sponge variety, to add to her lifelong collection. After a hard day of diving she would read to me the stories of Howard P Lovecraft as I sat on her lap. Not too long after is when the nightmares started. After the love, and nurturing, Bessie M gave me, I only took one thing from my childhood, to fear Cthulhu. Soon after we moved to the East Coast, my fears were confirmed one day. It was Bessie M’s 55th birthday and I had a surprise for her. ”Grandmother” I said in my soft childlike voice, “I have something to show you”. I led her to the marina, where I revealed my new pride and joy. It was a new fishing boat with a freshly painted name on the sider: “Bessie M”, my first boat. “ Bessie can we take it out on the water?’ I asked. “Look” she said sternly, “no promises, how about we go out tomorrow morning around 8:00.” “Okay then, grandmother. I’ll let you go and you can decide about the boat and decide, oh no, this boat no no”.

The next morning we set out to sea. The skies were due for a radiant blue which never came. It was Bessie’s 55th birthday and I begged for clear skies but the weather didn’t keep her spirits down. I proceeded to present my grandmother with a collection of rare miniature sponges concealed within an engraved glass jar that read her name “Bessie M”. I saw the tears that coated her eyes but it was the skies that wept that day. A storm was brewing, and hell rained upon the Bessie M that day. Suddenly I was in disbelief as the sky darkened to a menacing gray. The boat shook under the chaotic stress of these mysterious waves. “Get down!” Bessie shouted as she lunged her arms toward me, sending me flying toward a shelf. Before I knew it I was face down on the deck of the boat with a dizzying, throbbing pain in my head. With every examination of the wound I took, the more blood would collect on my hand. Still pinned to the floor, I must have been in a state of shock. Bessie was frantically trying to steer us clear of the unrelenting storm when suddenly, in a state of shock of her own she walked out of the cabin staring North without moving a muscle, completely static.” My God” she uttered in a tone of shock and disbelief. As I slowly brought myself to my knees, I laid my eyes upon this horrible sight. It was an image plucked straight out of the eldritch tales themselves. Hurricane like winds morphed from the mass of moving air into the great hand of Cthulhu. I then watched in horror as the sea god closed his fist around Bessie’s birthday sponge jar and hurled my gift toward my grandmother’s head as she stumbled toward the edge of the vessel. I saw my grandmother gaze into the storm, as Cthulhu took control of her body and launched her over the edge much like he did with my mind, sending me over the edge of consciousness into a state of darkness.

That was the last straw that taught me my eventual purpose. It led me to where I am right now. I am in the Gulf of Mexico. Using information I took from the king crabs I captured in Kodiak, Alaska. I was able to locate the homeland of my arch nemesis, Cthulhu. Cthulhu resides in R’yleh, a submerged city which lies within the mysterious ocean depths. Only I know its location and only I will put an end to Cthulhu’s reign upon these great seas which I have sailed on for over 20 years! 55 knots and rising, impact to R’yleh is imminent… For the second time in my life I am feeling true fear, and through that fear came regret. I should’ve honored Bessie rather than this petty trek for revenge. One afternoon service of grieving and remembrance is worth more than 20 years of anger and bitterness. Bessie wouldn’t have wanted this for me. Not being an isolated, antisocial crab interrogator but a true SPONGE diver! I have come to this revelation all but too late for there is no turning back now. I must do it. For BessieM!

Suddenly I awoke to find myself in a bed not my own with enough gauze wrapped around my head that I found it to difficult to lift. I realize that I must have filled my plan of vengeance and destroyed R’yleh. Filled with excitement and fatigue I decide it’s time for some rest. To my right I find a TV remote which I promptly grasped. I figured that some background noise would lull me to sleep. The top story on the news that evening was on an explosion which occurred on an oil rig in the Gulf of Mexico. 13 people had died on the Deepwater Horizon, and it was very close to where I collided with the city of R’yleh. The more I heard of the story the tighter my grip on the remote got as I realized that I could have done more to prevent these deaths. In a fit of rage and frustration I threw the remote as hard as I could against the wall, shattering it instantly. This angered the nurses a great deal and I could tell from the looks they gave me that they wouldn’t be changing any of my TV channels anytime soon, so it looks like I’m stuck with the Discovery Channel until I get a new remote. I would spend the rest of my hospital bound days watching a show that quickly became a favorite of mine, Bering Sea Gold. I became quite fond of these northern divers, especially their skipper, Capt. Vernon Atkinson. As I watched and watched, I realized it was Capt. Vernon and company that was getting me through my recovery. But one day, my recovery was stagnated by a horrifying discovery I made when recollecting the events that got me here on that night of blind vengeance. 13 people had died in the Gulf of Mexico just after I destroyed R’yleh. I hadn’t killed Cthulhu, I merely angered him. “My God” I said to myself and then my thoughts turned to my new friends, Capt. Vernon and everyone else in the Bering Sea. The sea was no longer safe, no waters were safe. I needed to do something, something to prevent anyone from ever diving whilst that great sea abomination roams our waters. And I needed to start with my friends at the Bering Sea. I contemplated for days on what action I may take as the guilt from those 13 men from the Deepwater Horizon bared heavier on my shoulders. How could I prevent them from diving? Then it dawned on me… They cannot dive if THEY DON’T HAVE A WEIGHT BELT! All I need to do now is get on the show, and then since I will be so enraged at the thought of ending diving careers, I will have to channel my inner fury to the thought of them not having a weight belt. This will prevent any suspicion I may draw, and also give me a way to channel my anger. I will also be able to test out my new theory of taunting Cthulhu. No doubt he remembers me and my voice after what I have done to him. By saying “My God” I believe this will shake Cthulhu to his very core. This is my very own call of Cthulhu.

I have been medically cleared and I am now off to save the lives of my friends of the Bering Sea, about to perform a deed that the they will never know are ever be able to appreciate. This is my duty, to save my friends, to end the terror of Cthulhu and to avenge Bessie M. Only through vengeance will Bessie be honored.

“Veteran diver Dave Thompson arrives to meet Captain and crew”

-Bering Sea Gold Narrator


Monday, 19 May 2014

Personal Addition- why it sucks to be Peter Budaj

The Montreal canadiens surprised many when they were able to beat out the Tampa Bay Lightning and Boston Bruins to make it to the eastern conference finals of the Stanley cup playoffs. They were able to make it over halfway to winning a Stanley cup based mostly on the strength of goalie Carey Price. But heartbreaking tragedy struck canadiens fans in the form of a minor injury to price's right knee/ankle, occurring in a collision with New York Rangers forward Chris Kreider in the first game of the eastern conference finals. Price's status for game 2 was uncertain until 9 hours before the game, when a bombshell was dropped by Montreal canadiens head coach Michel Therrien, stating that not only would Price miss the next game, but he also wouldn't be available for the rest of series. Panic ensued in Montreal, riots broke out, homes and shops were destroyed, people began sacrificing their children in hopes of forgiveness from the hockey gods (I'm not sure if I should make that joke considering montreals history ) in reality, it's more of a sense of dread that has set in. People perceive that the Montreal now has no chance. Before the series, most thought that the teams are fairly evenly matched up, with many analysts saying the difference in the series would be who would win the personal battle between price and the rangers own world class goalie, Henrik Lundqvist. Now the pressure of matching Lunqvists prowess in net has fallen on Montreal backup Peter Budaj. Budaj is considered one of the best backups in the league, and now he is given a chance to play in the 3rd round of the Stanley cup playoffs. But there is signifigant reasons for why this is a bad situation for Budaj, which are as follows;
1) This could make or break his career. Budaj has been a lifelong NHL backup. But Budaj is a very interesting goalie. He, in some peoples minds, has the skills to be an nhl starting goalie, but for whatever reason, if you give him a starters workload, or anything more than 25 games in a season, his game crumbles. This is why he's good as a backup. If your starter can take 60 starts in a year, it's great to have a guy like Budaj who can step in for 22 games and give your team a chance to win. The problem for Budaj though, is that he won't be remembered for the solid 20 games he gave Montreal during the season, he will be remembered for what he does in relief of Carey Price in the playoffs. This is bad news for Budaj because...
2) He is being set up for failure.
If Montreal loses this series, everyone will say "how can you except to win with Peter Budaj in net". The thing that most canadiens fans will want to forget, and they just might be able to, is that Carey Price did play a game in the series, in which he let up 4 goals in 2 periods. It wasn't prices fault either. Not a goalie on earth could have won the game for Montreal, even if Justin Pogge was in net for New York.(you ask who Justin Pogge is, proving my point). But Montreal fans won't want to admit that their team was outplayed, they'll look for a fallguy, and Peter Budaj has been offered for sacrifice. Everyone is saying that Budaj can't win the game, but it's his fault if he doesn't anyway.

Wednesday, 7 May 2014

Visual so what

I think the so what of this photo is stating how different mans perspective of animals is. If we were to see a conflict between cats and mice from their perspective, it may seem as though it's a battle with cinematic levels of drama. I think this photo tries to show how wrapped up in our worlds we are. 

Quickwrite 21 ness avenue

1-Don't make eye contact in the hallways
2- If you're trying to find drugs, ask anyone wearing a hat
3- there's enough 20 year olds here for you to not have to care about looking young

Thursday, 1 May 2014

Story elements- Diver Dave

The Captain (Cap) "kicks the dog" who is the anti villain, diver dave. Diver dave then hits the berserk button, and hilarity ensues

Tuesday, 29 April 2014

Quick write- best/worst meal

The worst possible meal is one that smells salty, but moist at the same time. One that tingles when the smell goes up your nose but feels humid when you breath through your mouth, it makes the air seem thick, but also burns in your throat. It would taste very bland, but sticky and wet. It would have a texture in your mouth between jello and mayonnaise, with the stickiness of jello, so it doesn't move through your mouth to  well, and the slickness of mayo.


My country of Eden would have a capital in a valley surrounded by mountains, houses would be on the faces of the mountains, with the main city down in the valley. The government would be a roman style democracy, where a few of the intellectuals participate in voting. The mountains that people didn't live on would have many rare resources that would source the countries economy. Because the economy is based away from the capital the city wouldn't need factories, it would be stores and food markets, keeping the capital clean. There would be distinct districts, with some for food/shopping that would be more old fashioned, and entertainment districts that would be more modern. The houses would be like modern houses in Arizona/New Mexico, boxy, open and clean.

Monday, 28 April 2014

Skype Reflection

1. What went well?
I think it was good that we were able to apply a lesson that they taugh us, I think it may give them some pride knowing that they are able to teach grade 12s a writing technique

2. What is good about collaborating?
Collaboration is good because, as I said before, it gives them a sense of accomplishment that they can teach us. It's also good because it gives us experience in presenting to an audience, and since they're kids and they're not actually there, we might get over slight stage fright.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

Procedural Writing- Dynamite Cannon (Minecraft)

This is procedural writing for how to create a dynamite cannon in Minecraft

Step 1: Place stones

Step 2: Put a stone slab at the end of the stones, put water on the ground near the first blocks and a stone one block above the water source, place a button or lever on the back of the block that is next to the water.

Step 3: Place redstone repeaters one block away from one side of the rocks, then put redstone down to connect it to the end block

Step 4: Place redstone opposite to the repeaters, going from the button block to the slab

Step 5: Place TNT in between all of the stone blocks, except over the water source block

Step 6: Press the button and shoot your cannon

Monday, 17 March 2014

1)The topic we presented was about growing up, and our mini lesson was about the question mark. We made it stick in the heads of our audience by making our six word memoir rhyme, as well as having an artsy photograph
2)I feel like our mini lesson could have gone better if we used a memoir that related to young kids better, but I think we explained our memoir and photos well,as well as including and explaining our question mark and comma.
3) I learned that when you're teaching to small kids, making the subject matter entertaining is much more important than working on making them learn, because if they're not entertained and engaged they won't be able to learn
4) For our next interaction with the kids, we should maybe do a lesson based off the book they're going to read us

Monday, 3 March 2014

Reading tweets-Characters perspective

Tweets from the mind of Dexter Morgan (Dexter in the Dark, page 90)

Bought Vince some doughnuts #bestbuddy

Should I wear a tan bowling shirt or pale blue bowling shirt? #asktwitter

Going for a medionoche sandwich with Deb, hope she appreciates how helpful I am #Iwish

Doakes just stumped into the office, bad time for me to be thinking of tongue twisters #jokes

Found some burnt bodies with bull heads instead of their own, on an unrelated note has anyone seen any cult rituals lately?

If I see Chinese characters tattooed on your neck, I assume their English translation is "slow learner" #tools

Love my stepson, he reminds me so much of myself #proud

I think our murder victims name was Ariel Goldman #investigationlivetweet

I'm glad I've already met most of the sergeants, as meeting them now and shaking hands would be difficult

Went through life lessons with my step son tonight, you know, school and stuff

All I've had on my mind for the past week is wedding catering #thestruggle

Made some jokes with Vince about hunting for doughnuts #nevergetsold

Who knew that chefs are so short? #themoreyouknow

I know something now that would have made college a lot easier #investigationlivetweet

College Professors aren't the most coordinated in his escape plan #investigationlivetweet

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

Quick writes- effort at the workplace

This quick write is a calling for people to do their jobs correctly. There is two possibilities here, both pointing to laziness at the workplace. Look at this face. Does it sell well to you? Of course not that is not a friendly face that you would want looking at you in your snowball fights. One possibility is the photographer got very lazy, to the point where he just took minimal photos, leaving the poor designer of the ad to use this face of insanity. The second possibility is that the designer doesn't look very closely at his work, causing a mistaken placement of this face in the ad. Or maybe I'm just overthinking this, and that's how the model looks 24/7. In that case, someone should have a word with the casting director of the shoot.

Quick write-your dream team

"Welcome to I'm pretty sure whose line it is!!!!! You are witness to the brand new improv show with a little twist, it's not improv in the mind of one of our stars! Now please welcome, the host of the tonight show for the week of February 16 an record holder for quickest cancellation of talk show, JIMMY FALLON (audience claps as jimmy enters and laughs at how damn clever the jokes inside his head is) and, the man who was given a script, let's see if he remembers it, CHRISTOPHER WALKEN!!!!"

Wouldn't this be fun. For the one episode that the channel would tolerate we would witness jimmy Fallon attempt to not laugh throughout a show. Jimmy has a bad history of laughing at his own jokes, so imagine him trying to not laugh at a joke that he came up with merely seconds earlier, not even giving himself a chance to comprehend it. Then enters poor Chris walken. Chris thinks that this whole show has been scripted, and Chris has troubles remembering his lines in the first place (even with cue cards behind the scenes, see Catch me if you can) so picture him ready to do his thing when suddenly jimmy Fallon starts spewing out random gibberish mixed with his uncontrollable laughter (camera zooms in slowly as walkens jaw quivers in confusion). Although r/cringe would have a field day with this, it's undeniable that a good chuckle would come of it. 

Quick write- which door?

Never having watched the doctor, I would still choose the tardis on account of process of elimination. LOTR and various Sherlock series are the only options I would consider myself a fan of, and I wouldn't want to go to either based on this; bag end acts as a symbol. Bag End is the peaceful place of bilbo/frodos lives, and therefore contains little of the excitement carried in middle earth. 221 Baker Street is similar in that the house is fairly normal based on most adaptations of the stories, so the action wouldn't be present there. The tardis as far as I understand it, is the catalyst and location of much of the action, plus crossing through that door is a method of time travel and teleportation, as opposed to the teleportation of narnia or monsters inc.
And who would want to teleport into a child's room anyway?

Thursday, 13 February 2014

My thoughts on Canada-Norway

First day of the 2014 Olympic men's hockey tournament, and scoreboard wise we had a bit of a shocker, 3-1 Canada over Norway. In the 2010 tournament these two teams met, the score being 10-0 canada. Today's game wasn't even by any means except the first period. In the final 40 minutes, besidesa power play goal directly off the face off in the 3rd period, Norway didn't get close to a scoring chance, as was to be expected by a country who has one player in the NHL. But this game still generated a lot of concern for Canadian supporters. The offence at many points was simply unable to click, causing lots of turnovers at Norway's blue line.  The problem in my eyes was our defencemen attempting to generate the offense on their own. This is something we often see during the first game played by essentially an Allstar team. This happens because on their NHL teams, almost all of Canada's defencemen are used to being the most talented offensive player on the team, so they're usually the ones leading the rush. These mistakes of trying to do too much themselves are completely excusable in my mind when the players do it. My issue is with the coach, Mike Babcock. Babcock is a veteran Olympic coach, winning gold in Vancouver, and he must know better than to assume his players, especially when he picks a team of puck moving defencemen, will surrender the puck before they try to do it themselves a few times. One way to solve the problem of defencemen trying to do it all themselves and losing it is to dish the rock to someone who is actually good at rushing it. Incredibly convenient for Canada, the 2013 Norris trophy winner just happens to be a Toronto native, the second best puck moving defenceman since Coffey, and primed and ready for the Olympics, PK Subban. This morning though, PK Subban was the 8th defenceman, sitting in the pressbox watching lesser offensive defenceman such as drew doughty and jay bouwmeester try to attack the line. (I say lesser only in terms of rushing the puck only). I can't help but imagine that if Subban had been in the starting lineup, we would have had more success with our back end attack, which would have given our offence a spark much earlier on, and had we generated offence earlier, we would have worn down Norway's top lines, the only one that could keep up with any of us. If we had worn them down early, we could have run up the score much higher than 3-1. After only putting up 3 against a weak team, this young Canadian team can't have an insane amount of confidence, something we'll need to compete with an American team who put up 7 against Slovakia or Finland who put up 8 against the Austrian team. Even though we were able to pull out the win, we always want to take out lots of confidence from these wins, and our lack of generating offence didn't allow us to get that confidence.